


Breathe

by neurological



Category: The Boys (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, F/F, i love these two, season one spoilers(ish)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:27:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26300407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neurological/pseuds/neurological
Summary: Maeve is having trouble staying away from Elena even though she knows it’s dangerous.Set somewhere after episode 6. Very angsty, and will likely become part of a series.
Relationships: Elena/Queen Maeve (The Boys), Mentions Queen Maeve/Homelander
Comments: 4
Kudos: 90





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> There are not enough Queen Maeve/Elena stories out there and I cannot get enough of these two. So what did I do? I wrote my own! This one is angsty and a little depressing, but I’m planning on writing a lot more one-shots and they will not all be this way.

Maeve tried to stay away from Elena, she really did, but since she had visited her in her drunken stupor she couldn’t help herself. Elena was like a drug, like the alcohol she could never put down for too long. Years went by without seeing her and then one slip up, and Elena was all Maeve had on her mind. That one slip up was terrifying her, though. Now Elena was showing up everywhere trying to get her to open up about whatever was going on. She hadn’t meant for Elena to see her like that but god it felt good being vulnerable with someone.

Years of silent abuse and watching so-called-heroes doing awful things to people caused her to clam up entirely. She withdrew from everyone and felt so isolated, so seeing Elena was nice and relieving. The role she played in life did not allow her to have a moment to breathe and show vulnerability to anyone.

That one small, damn moment with Elena threatened to undo her because now she found herself standing in front of her apartment door ready to get another gasp of air. The whole way over she tried to talk herself out of it. If Homelander knew, she thought eerily, he would make her life even more miserable. That man was cruel and he was the major reason she ended things with Elena the first time. After seeing what he was capable of, and how infatuated he was with her, she had to keep Elena out of harm's way. He always got his way and Maeve would be damned if he laid a finger on Elena just to be with her. 

She knocked hesitantly half hoping it was too soft for the other woman to hear. If she didn’t answer the door, Maeve could take that as her sign that this was all a horrible idea and she should leave and never come back. But of course, Elena answered, and she seemed very confused. “Maeve? What are you doing here?” 

She took in Elena’s appearance. She was clearly relaxing because she had her comfy sweatpants and band tee on. Maeve remembered the specific outfit, as she had seen it a million times, she only ever wore it on days she planned to binge whatever TV show she was on. Instantly, she felt sick with herself. She was not only putting Elena in danger by being here, she was interrupting her down time. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.” She said and began to turn away when a gentle hand wrapped around her arm.

“Wait!” Elena’s dark eyes were so kind and beautiful Maeve struggled to keep her eyes on them. “Are you okay?” 

The sweetness in her voice killed Maeve because she so badly wanted to tell her that she was not okay, that she just wanted to come back to her and do all the things they planned to do. Move somewhere far away, go on adventures, start a family. Homelander would find them, though, she was certain of that. So she smiled a fake smile and nodded. “Yeah, sorry- I just wanted to check in on you. I was in the area… again.” 

She winced at how fake of a response it was, and she knew Elena could see right through it too. She wasn’t fooling anybody. There was a long awkward pause where clearly neither one of them knew where to go from here. Finally, Elena broke the silence. “Do you want to come in? I was about to watch TV but you’re welcome to join me if you’d like? I have snacks.” 

Maeve found herself agreeing before fully thinking it through. It wasn’t until she sat down on the couch next to Elena when she realized what a mistake it was. If she was gone for too long Homelander would try to find her or at the very least notice she was absent and question her about it later. But she was able to breathe again, finally, sitting next to the woman she still had strong feelings for. It felt so damn good. They were laughing together and joking about the strange hospital drama they ended up watching. Halfway through the episode, though, an advertisement for The Seven came on showing Maeve and Homelander signing autographs and smiling at the cameras. An interviewer asked Homelander about the relationship between them, and he responded with a cheesy scripted line about being a united couple and he couldn’t do what he did without her.

Elena visibly tensed and cleared her throat. Just like that reality was slapped in both their faces. The good, easy energy in the room was sucked out in those few seconds now replaced with unsureness. “Elena…” Maeve began, but was cut off by a heavy sigh. 

“God, I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m such an idiot, nothing has changed.” She stood abruptly and pinched the bridge of her nose. Maeve watched in awkward silence while Elena paced around her apartment trying to find things to keep herself busy cleaning up snacks she had laid out before Maeve’s arrival. 

Maeve stood, walked over to her, and placed her hand on top of Elena’s. No words would come out of her mouth even though she wanted to tell her that Homelander meant nothing and she wished things were different. She felt like such a coward. Elena’s eyes pleaded with her and Maeve instinctively crashed their lips together and cupped her hands around the woman’s face affectionately. The kiss was returned and became heated with Elena backing her up into the counter behind them and pushing her body flush against her. Maeve marveled at how soft and familiar those lips were. After a few blissful moments, in between shaky breaths Maeve heard Elena whimper and pull away. “I can’t do this, I’m sorry…” she took a full few steps away from her. “Can you please just go?” 

Maeve touched her lips which were tingling from the sensation of kissing Elena. She licked them quickly and stared at the floor in disappointment and shame. She should have never come here. This dance they were playing would end up hurting them both more than they already were. 

She sighed and walked to the door. She paused at the handle and glanced back at Elena who looked equally disappointed and shaken. “I wish things were different, Elena. I really do.” Maeve said quietly and didn’t wait for a reply when she closed the door behind her. She sucked in a deep breath and returned to Vought where she slipped right back into her bullshit routine, still thinking of Elena.


End file.
